changes

changes are good. changes are necessary for development. changes are our inspiration. changes can be positive can be negative. but it really up to us how to see it. but too much of changes is not easy to handle. last time i always think no changes no growth. seriously when we have to face a lot of changes in a short period is not so easy for me. it really tensed me up. i wish i can handle it. but somehow the basic thing we must release it out from our heart or mind. if let it stay too long, u might see a crazy ice jumping here and there.

my old sweet day has gone with the wind. now i really have to walk very carefully to avoid any bad thing come again. but it seems like this year is not that smooth for me. may be this is so called challenge to me. i always said i love challenge. but when i really face it... it is totally different thing for me. i respect those people in Africa, Iran, Iraq... or i should say i pity them in the other words? i think i am lucky than them as they can't even choose how they want to live... they are not giving any chance for that. but at least i still alive... not starving.. got chance to see these beautiful world. but i still felt very desperate.

Grandma

lunch at vegetarian shop. felt abit weird. first time celebrate my grandma's birthday in the vegetarian economic rice shop. weird weird weird. all like just eating and eating. is it the only way when we getting old? only wait for the children to come back and celebrate with us? do we have other choice? feeling unconfortable everytime i see my grandma. she is 82 years old. can't really walk properly. have to use 'tongkat'. if she want to go anywhere we have to arrange for her. can i choose not to be like this next time? feeling no good. reaslly no good. all of us can talk talk talk but we did not really talk and understand my grandma. what's in my grandma's mind?? i dunno. really dunno. lucky she still can read newspaper. if not... i also dunno what can she do. whole day long stay at home. listening got little bit problem.